An honest breastfeeding journey no one prepared me for
As a first-time mom to a beautiful baby girl, I always heard that breastfeeding is a beautiful journey. But no one really talks about the overwhelming, painful, and emotional side of it. From day one, I was committed to breastfeeding, but the reality hit hard—stitch pain, a baby still learning to latch, sore and cracked nipples—it wasn’t the magical moment I had imagined. Those first few weeks felt more like a storm than a bonding experience. Feeding became a nightmare with the pain, and I found myself expressing milk just to ensure she got the colostrum. Despite my determination, the first one and a half months were filled with stress, mom guilt, and formula top-ups that I never expected to rely on. But somewhere along the way, I had a moment of clarity: “Fed is Best”, and I was doing my best. Now at three months, my journey has taken a much more peaceful, fulfilling path—and I’m ready to share the honest, unfiltered story behind it all.
The Rough Start
With latching issues right from the beginning, I developed sore, cracked nipples that made every feed feel like a nightmare. The pain was unbearable—something no one had warned me about. I was determined to feed colostrum to my baby in those crucial early days, so I turned to expressing milk, pushing through the discomfort just to make sure she got what she needed.
The first one and a half months were incredibly stressful. Each feed filled me with dread, and eventually, I had to rely on formula for most of her feeds. And the stress of that decision? It was very real. The mom guilt was heavy, suffocating even. I know so many first-time mothers can relate to that tug-of-war between doing what’s best and feeling like it’s never enough.
But then, one day, a thought hit me—why the guilt? If my baby is hungry and I’m doing everything I can, why should I feel shame? Formula or breastmilk, the goal is the same: a fed, healthy baby. Fed is Best. That simple truth changed everything. I stopped stressing and chose compassion for myself. But that didn’t mean I gave up on breastfeeding. Not at all.
I was determined to find a way. I reached out to lactation consultants, joined breastfeeding programs, and committed myself to learning and healing. Slowly but surely, things started to improve. And through it all, my husband was my anchor—offering encouragement, standing by my choices, and reminding me that I wasn’t alone.
Now, three months in, I can finally say the journey has taken a beautiful turn. I see the connection, the comfort, and the reward of the persistence. Breastmilk truly is liquid gold, and I’m proud of every step I’ve taken to provide that for my daughter.
A Note to Fellow Moms
I’m sharing my experience for every new mother out there who might be feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or alone in this journey. You’re not alone. I promise you, what you’re feeling is valid, and what you’re doing is more than enough.
Every mother’s breastfeeding journey is unique—there’s no one-size-fits-all path, and no gold standard to compare yourself against. So if you’re struggling, if things aren’t going the way you imagined, please don’t let that make you feel any less. You are the best mother your baby could ever have. Your love, your effort, your sleepless nights—they matter more than anything.
So breathe, trust yourself, and know that you’re doing a beautiful job. Enjoy this fleeting phase of motherhood—the cuddles, the tiny fingers, the sleepy smiles—because it won’t last forever, and they won’t stay this little for long.
